Love Letters

Green Collage for sale!

Yup, believe it or not, the two green collages I showed photos of on a recent post are now for sale in a local gallery!  I'm beyond thrilled and very hopeful, and while the money would come in pretty handy right now; it's not the prospect of making money that is thrilling to me.  What's thrilling to me is that I feel validated as an artist and I'm encouraged to continue down the path I've been on... and I needed that encouragement, badly! 

(Of course, my name doesn't appear as shown above!)

Having lost my job, just like the other 263,000 people who lost their jobs in September this year alone, my confidence has been badly shaken... so any little success feels pretty darn good right now.  Please keep your fingers crossed for me... 

Now, GO MAKE SOMETHING!!!

I love change... especially change that is forced upon me!

Bad News

My news is nothing new these days, but it's new to me... today I was let go from my job as a result of "downsizing" at our hospital.  Without question, it was the most distressing, humiliating, unexplained experience of my life.  Did I mention humiliating?!?  And imagine... the people who met with me (department director, my manager, and someone from HR), had the nerve to tell me how difficult it was for them!  No question, but a. that's part of their jobs as managers, and b. at the end of the day, they go home STILL EMPLOYED!, and finally c. did they really expect sympathy from me as they were firing me?!?  I'm really sorry, but that was not something I was at all interested in hearing, certainly not at that point in time.  The other really helpful platitude was "you're not the only one being let go"... well, you know, I certainly feel for all the other employees who lost their jobs today (apparently there were more than 320 full time staff let go), and frankly I wish we could all get together to commiserate over a stiff drink... but at that moment, that really didn't do anything to make me feel a BIT better!!!  

I'm trying to wrap my head around this, and I'm not doing very well.  So, while nothing anyone has to say will get my job back, please understand I don't expect sympathy from anyone.  I just really needed to get this off my chest... and there may be more wallowing &/or anger to come, so please forgive me in advance! I know I'm not alone, but this is my pain, my loss, and my experience to try to understand and process. 

In the mean time... 

Bubba

This is a photo of the little guy who is "boarding" at our house, for how long is unclear, but every day is a gift, either way.  He is really, really sweet... he likes everyone and other pets, even our cats.  That's his little "chippy" to the left of the bowl... he carries it out on our walks, too cute! 

Trust me, I am very happy to have Bubba here to help make me smile, and to make me do something for someone else... it helps get me outside of myself and my own grief.  

Please Give the Lift of Life!

My older brother Larry is the proud owner of a donated liver as of yesterday evening, and what an amazing gift to receive!  At the same time, it's kind of hard to be really, really happy for Larry; knowing another family lost a loved one in order for there to be a liver available for transplant to Larry.  He is at Baylor University Hospital in Dallas, where he has been on and off for months in various stages of illness, waiting. The available organs are assigned to the recipients based on how ill the recipient is, and in a kind of perverse manner, the recipient has to get "good and sick" before they move up on the transplant list... so it becomes a strange dance of watch and wait & numbers... liver enzymes, creatinine clearances, blood cell counts, just to name a few levels that are observed closely... the recipient can't get too sick, or they move down on the list or are removed entirely... and if they are too well, back down the list, again... you get the picture, right?  It's just a very complicated, convoluted procedure.  

I am so sorry for the donor family's loss and so grateful at the same time, that they were generous and compassionate enough not to bury a perfectly good liver, knowing it could afford someone else another chance at life!

This goofy drawing is a little something I put together for Larry, back in July, when he was very, very ill and understandably depressed.  I get to draw a nurse in a somewhat disparaging manner, since I belong to the "club"... not necessarily nurses with "cankles", but an older nurse for sure!

Larry was infected with Hepatitis C after undergoing an out-patient surgical procedure in an OR in Texas, where an anesthesia tech was stealing narcotics from the anesthesia carts in the OR, shooting up, and then using the same needle to draw up saline to put volume back into the vials of narcotics, so no one would suspect any meds were missing.  55 people altogether were infected, Larry being one of them.

So, please, let your loved ones know your wishes about organ donation... it is my fervent hope that more people will realize we won't be needing those organs once we "go", and someone out there may be desperate for a heart, a liver, a kidney, corneas, lungs, even skin for burn victims... it is such a wonderful way to do something generous & altruistic, and make the final act of our lives an incredibly wonderful thing.  

It feels SO good to be back in my studio!

I've been away from my studio for more than two months, and I've felt so unlike myself.  Thankfully my husband and I have gotten the studio/loft area of our house to a point where, although it isn't "done", it's definitely functional, and I can live with that! 

These are a couple of new collages I've been working on... an obvious green theme, and only because I really like the colors... they measure 10"x10" and are on canvas.  There are many layers of paint and gesso and writing in different areas... some in pastel, some in ink, some in pencil, & some done with the pointy end of an old fashioned compass tool, written in wet gesso/paint. I really enjoyed making these, and I'm anxious to get back up in my studio to continue the process. 

Thank goodness for the creative outlet that helps to keep me semi-sane and happy... I suggest everyone find an art form or craft they can lose themselves in... 

Now, go make something!

Follow up to Lady's love story

Lady & Lily, February 2009

I apologize for how long it has taken me to write again.  It's been a little over a month since we lost Lady, and I'm afraid to admit I'm still wallowing. I don't cry everyday or anything like that, but when I see someone walking a big, beautiful black Lab, I can hardly speak.  And while our kitties have done an admirable job of trying to amuse and distract me, it's just not the same.  

Just about the time Lady died, my studio got torn up while we paint and stain the attic, so I haven't spent a moment in my studio, either... which really makes things feel strange for me.  I feel like part of me has been cut off and I almost physically long to be back in the studio.  This weekend we will hopefully be putting the finishing touches on the studio and I'll be able to get things in order. 

 

In the photo above, you can see how grey Lady became, and you can also see that the kitty Lily wasn't the slighted bit afraid of Lady... she liked to walk back and forth past Lady's head, and tried really hard to lay down right by Lady's face.  So cute.  

I hope you are all doing well, and I appreciate ALL the kind wishes and comments re: Lady's death.  It has meant the world to me and to my husband... he's not a blogger and just cannot quite understand how it is so many people we've never actually met have been so kind to us. Quite a wonderful community of loving friends, isn't it?!?  

xoxo,

Lady's last photo, she couldn't get around very easily, but she could still smile!

Lady & Lily

Ladybug, a love story...

What a sad time this is at our house, and yes, I'm wallowing in self-pity for a day or two...

we came home Wednesday night, late, and found our big old, sweet old puppy dog, dead in the backyard. Granted, she was a hundred years old, a dinosaur, a bit of a relic... but we're still really, really sad.  

Lady was all goodness and kindness and such a big presence in our lives!

She lived to make us happy, which she did incredibly well, and I hope I made her life half as happy as she made mine...

Ladybug, 2003

It's a really great story, how Lady came to live with us, and I'll try to keep it brief...

Lady Comes Home, Chapter One

"She's really nice for a dog, but she can't stay"

These were my husband's words when I finally told him what the surprise was that I'd gotten him, when he came home from work on Saturday, December 7th, 2002.  I'd been working with a gal who raised puppies for Leader Dogs, and I had mentioned I really wanted an adult Labrador Retriever, and when Lady was left at the Leader Dogs, she called me.  Lady's owner had died, and the lady's family thought she'd make a great Leader Dog, so they gave her to the Leader Dogs.  There was a question of her having Parvo, and she was too old to be a Leader Dog, so Leader Dogs surrendered Lady to the Flint Humane Society, and that's when my friend called me... she said, "There's a really great Lab up in Flint, and someone needs to go get her... I thought you would be interested".  

I didn't tell my husband (because I knew what he'd say), and on Saturday morning, my daughter Corey and I waited for John to leave for work, and we headed straight to Flint.  I recall Corey saying to me, en route to see Lady, "What do you think she looks like?", to which I answered, "Well, I think she's probably about 65 pounds and yellow... not sure why I think that, I just do"... and when we first saw Lady, she was outside, peeing like a boy dog, and she was pitch black, weighing in at about 90 pounds.  NOT what I was expecting!

They put Corey and I in an adoption room with Lady, and Lady immediately went over to Corey and put her enormous square head in Corey's lap... Corey looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said "I just LOVE her, mom!"... and that was that.  Lady had adopted us.  I remember loading her into my car thinking, "I sure hope I don't live to regret this"... and we headed home.

For the remainder of the weekend, my husband spoke not another word to me besides, "She's really nice for a dog, but she can't stay".  To which I simply did not respond.

I worked all day Monday in the Operating Room, and was not about to drive back to Flint that night, so she stayed on till Tuesday.  After work Tuesday, I decided to surprise John again, and took Lady to see him at his work.  Everyone there fell all over themselves talking about how pretty Lady was and what a great dog she was, and I could see my husband slowly becoming kind of like a proud papa.  

We took her home that night and gave her a bath, and she was incredibly well behaved... she didn't fight it, she just stood in the tub and let us hose her down and bathe her.  Next thing I know, my husband says to me, "OK, she can stay, but never in our bedroom!"  I was more than fine with that.

Little while later, I look in our bedroom, and at the end of the bed, is John's robe on the floor, folded in half and there was Lady, lying right on top of it.  I must've looked pretty surprised, and John said to me, "OK, well... " he stuttered, "never on the bed! OK?!?!?"  

Needless to say she eventually won a spot on the bed with us, and for years we slept with that great big dog hogging our bed, and we loved every minute of it, until she hurt herself and couldn't jump down any longer.  After that, her dog bed was at the foot of our bed, until Thursday morning.  We loved hearing her snoring like a sailor... it was a very comforting sound... we knew she was alive.  And as she got older and older, (the vet thought she was between eight and ten years old in 2002 when we adopted her); that snoring at night became more and more important to hear.  

Her bed has been put away, and her remains have been cremated.  She made us better human beings by adopting us, and we will miss her every single day.  Stay tuned... if you like, and one day real soon, I'll tell you the story about the four thousand dollar rescue dog... it'll be Chapter Two.  

Thank you for reading all the way down to here... I really appreciate it... this is cathartic for me and necessary... I hope I didn't bore you too much!  

With a heavy heart and lots of tears, 

xoxo,

Kathy

PS: Thank you SO much to all of you who have so kindly and graciously written to me with condolences... what a great community of loving friends I have!

Is it Friday already?

I can hardly believe it's alrdeady Friday night... and I never would've imagined the Wings would be playing game 7, down two goals to 0 in the third period, at home to boot!!!  I need to calm down...

Here is my current Friendship Friday postcard, thanks to Marie, our host at Vintage Postcards...

Note the colors, Red White & Black - does it make any of you think of the Detroit Red Wings?  It should! :D  This card was made with black cardstock, painted and stamped tyvek, handmade paper scraps, a punched heart from watercolor paper, a punched square with scribbled writing, and a red ticket to some event somewhere... I can't remember where I got the red paper at the very top... it's came from a piece of cardstock, approximately 8"x10", with  cut out circles... what you can see is just a torn scrap of that piece of cardstock... I used a rubber stamp and red ink to do the swirly in the upper right hand corner and the 1959 down on the lower right.  There are gold speckles scattered randomly across the piece... it's Schmincke rich gold gouache, in its dry state, sprinkled around, while the acrylic medium was still wet.  

Another journal entry...

This is a simple little impromptu collage I added to the bottom of the journal page, above it is the saying I wrote out with a brush on a post a few entries back... I love that quote... I need to look at it every day and really remind myself of that... I'm afraid I'm going to get to the end of my life and feel like I never really did live it on my terms... so I'm working on that.  Anyhow... I really don't like it when my writing goes uphill or is crooked, so why am I so reluctant to pencil in a little guideline here and there?!?  All I can say is I am either really lazy or really spontaneous... I like how the latter sounds better!

       Now, GO MAKE SOMETHING!  

Drawing skills...

Lately, I've been pushing myself to draw at least one small thing every day... ok, every other day... the impetus was I remembered that calligraphy is really drawing letters... it has absolutely nothing to do with handwriting, though a calligrapher will usually have pretty good handwriting (I think it's just a side effect of studying letters for years, and we usually love letters, so we like them to look good, just MHO)... I digress...

so here's a recent journal entry of mine, with a little drawn ditty, I mean kitty, Moo... (do any of you give your pets three or four ridiculous names?!?)

and here is another journal entry, 

 

And one last journal entry, just for fun:

Friendship Friday Postcard

Here is today's Friendship Friday postcard I made for Marie's weekly Postcard project... 

I decided to up the color factor a bit, after last Friday's dark postcard, so I chose my favorite color and went to town... there's a bit of an EKG tracing of mine in there, a square of wrapping paper, some gold foil from a Ghiardelli chocolate bar, and even some transparent tissue paper with swirls... mixed media collage is just SO much fun... it's a great way to use up paper scraps that are too pretty to throw out, and include some meaningful things, too.  The word consequences came from a very old book (it was already falling apart, honest!)... I like the mystery of it... consequences. Perhaps there's a connection between those flames next to the word?  Certainly not intentional, but interesting at any rate!

Now, go make something!